Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Bit Of Honesty

I started group therapy yesterday.  I have been through several traumas (who hasn't?) and I am still standing, but not without my vices.  My main vice, I am coming to learn and accept, is anorexia.  I am NOT painfully thin as you see in the news and in magazines, but do I exhibit MANY of the psychological, behavioral and physical symptoms of the disease.  Yesterday my counselor suggested that perhaps my blog is a way of not only controlling what I eat, but also of controlling what OTHERS eat.  In particular, my children.  That pains me.  Terribly.  So.  I apologize to you.  This blog is by NO MEANS meant to control YOUR food choices.  Or those of my family.  I stand in judgment of no one.  I am learning to not stand in judgment of myself...
 I apologize to you and I will apologize to my family tonight.  My quest to convert my family to healthy eating did not come from a healthy place.  (Ironic.)  Will I still cook them something easy, yummy, healthy and cheap??  Hell yes.  That's my job as a mommy.  Will I still blog (dumb word) about it?  Hell yes.  I have been getting so much enjoyment out of this!!!  But I wanted to be honest.  Eating healthy should be for health's sake...NOT to fit into a smaller dress, or to appear "perfect."  There is no perfect.  There is no "normal."  And that's OKAY.
I'm learning...

3 comments:

  1. Your far to sweet to every try to control what others do. I'm happy you have a blog now and I look forward to trying lots of your yummy healthy and cheap food. (whole foods is killing me) :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good for you girl, you're such a wonderful amazing woman and I love you so much it's not even funny. I hope therapy helps you come to terms with what has happened. And blogging is a great outlet, I get a ton of enjoyment from it as well. And if your blog evolves to include other things besides food, the that's ok too!

    ReplyDelete