Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving...there's nothing easy, healthy, or cheap about it.  But it's oh-so-yummy and I CAN'T WAIT!!!  Bring on the bird!!
God bless you all.  I am so very thankful for each of you.
Blowing hugs and Thanksgiving kisses your way.  MOOWAAAH!!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Chicken Noodle Soup...A Hug For The Soul

In my 38 years, I've learned that sometimes life can sucker punch you in the gut SO HARD that you think you may never breathe again.  I don't have much more to say other than this...when your hearts and minds are confused and broken...your soul needs a hug.  Make chicken noodle soup.  And if you are REALLY hurting...make some homemade bread to go with it.  And a hot cup of coffee.  God bless.

Classic Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredients:

  • 2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 2 medium onions, chopped
  • 3 medium carrots, cut into 1/4-inch rounds
  • 3 celery ribs, cut into 1/4-inch thick slices
  • 1 (6- to 7-pound) chicken
  • 2 quarts chicken broth or canned low-sodium broth
  • 1 quart cold water, or as needed
  • 4 sprigs of fresh parsley
  • 3 sprigs of fresh thyme or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1 bay leaf
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 cups egg noodles
  • Chopped fresh parsley, for garnish

Preparation:

Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onions, carrots, and celery and cook, stirring often, until softened, about 10 minutes.

Cut the chicken into 8 pieces. If there are any pads of yellow fat in the tail area, do not remove them. Add the chicken to the pot and pour in the broth. Add enough cold water to cover the ingredients by 2 inches. Bring to a boil over high heat, skimming off the foam that rises to the surface. Add the parsley, thyme and bay leaf.

Reduce the heat to low. Simmer, uncovered, until the chicken is very tender, about 2 hours.

Remove the chicken from the pot and set aside until cool enough to handle. Remove and discard the parsley and thyme sprigs and bay leaf.

Discard the chicken skin and bones and cut the meat into bite-size pieces. Add the noodles and cook until done, about 10 minutes. Stir the meat back into the soup and season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve hot. (The soup can be prepared up to 3 days ahead, cooled, covered, and refrigerated, or frozen for up to 3 months.)

Yield: 12 to 14 servings





Great Grandma Devere's Irish Soda Bread

3 cups flour
2/3 cup sugar
1tsp baking soda
1 TBS baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
2 eggs
2 TBS oil

Mix all of the above in a large bowl then pour into a greased bread pan.  Bake at 350 for 1 hour.




In loving memory of Steve Borghero...may you rest in peace, my friend.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Stuffed Portabella Mushrooms



I know I've been on a Hungry Girl kick lately...but it's with good reason.  Lisa Lillien is a genius.  A food scientist.  A magician.  A foodgicianist.  She was on Rachel Ray last week and announced that she will soon have her own show on the Cooking channel.  I'm looking forward to her show much the same as a child awaits Christmas.  Wild anticipation.  I know for sure and for certain that it's destined to be my #2 favorite show.  (I'd say #1, but let's get real.  McDreamy vs. Hungry Girl?  Please.)

So.  Stuffed Portabella Mushrooms.  GAWD, these were good.  Good doesn't cover it.  Yum doesn't cover it.  I-want-another-one-right-now doesn't cover it.  They seriously were that good.  The kids wouldn't touch them so I can't give their review, but the hubster ate his all gone and said it was delicious.  That's enough for me!  I'm adding this recipe to my favorite's list and I think you will, too.  Try it.
OH!!  I didn't tell you the best part!!  You make this in a foil packet...NO MESS!!  If I was an octopus I'd give it 8 thumbs up.

Ingredients:
2 wedges The Laughing Cow Light Garlic and Herb cheese
1/2 tsp chopped garlic
1/2 tsp dried minced onion
1/8 tsp salt  (I used more...go figure)
Dash ground thyme, or more to taste
2 large portabella mushrooms
1 summer squash, ends removed, finely diced  (I didn't have squash so I used cauliflower...SO GOOD!)
1/2 TBS reduced fat Parmesan grated topping

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. In a bowl, combine cheese wedges, garlic, onion, salt, and thyme.  Mix until smooth.  Set aside.
3.  Remove mushroom stems and finely chop.  Add chopped stems to the bowl and set mushroom caps aside.
4. Add squash (cauliflower...) to the bowl and stir well until the veggies are coated in the cheese mixture.  (Doesn't that sound yummy?  "Until coated in the cheese mixture"...those are beautiful words.)
5. Lay a large piece of heavy duty foil on a baking sheet.  Lightly spray both sides of the mushroom caps with olive oil nonstick spray, sprinkle with salt, and place next to each other on the foil with the rounded sides down.  Spoon veggie-cheese mixture into the mushroom caps.  Sprinkle with grated topping.
6. Place another large piece of foil over the caps.  Fold together and seal all 4 edges of the two foil pieces, forming a well-sealed packet.
7. Place baking sheet in the oven and bake for 23 to 25 minutes, until mushrooms are tender.
8. Allow packet to cool for a few minutes, and then cut to release steam before opening it entirely.  (Careful-steam will be hot.)  Season to taste with additional salt and thyme.  Enjoy!

Makes 2 servings.
92 calories, 2.75g  fat

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Creamy Caramelized Onion Bisque


Creamy Caramelized Onion Bisque...I gotta tell ya, the recipe name alone had me tearing up and drooling.  I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating...Lisa Lillien??  I love you.  I love you and I thank you and my tummy thanks you.  I think Rob's tummy thanks you, too.  This soup was outta the ball park good.  And 109 calories per cup???  Seriously???  I dub thee Saint Lisa.  Canonized for life.  You performed an onion miracle.  Even She Who Must Not Be Named had two cups!!  You have earned your title, Saint Lisa.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for your recipe.  I made this soup on a cold, rainy Monday...the house smelled amazing for HOURS (unless you hate the smell of onions) and I was warmed from the inside out.  I served it with a salad and called the whole thing dinner.  Truthfully, it was the best dinner I've had in a long time.  Two thumbs up and an mmmm mmmm mmmmmmmm.  My only (itsy bitsy) complaint is that it takes FOREVER to properly caramelize onions.  BUT!!   It's so worth the time it takes, so I'll zip up my complaint, lock it and throw away the key.

Creamy Caramelized Onion Bisque

1 TBS light whipped butter or light buttery spread (we use Smart Balance Light)
2 large sweet onions, chopped
4 large shallots, thinly sliced
2 TBS chopped garlic
1/2 tsp salt  (I used a lot more...always do)
Dash cayenne pepper or more to taste
4 cups fat-free beef broth
4 TBS fat-free creamer




1. Heat butter in a large pot over medium-high heat on the stove.  Once butter has coated the bottom of the pot, add onions, shallots, garlic salt and cayenne pepper.  Onions may be piled high, but they'll cook down.  Saute for 10 minutes, stirring often.

2. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook for an additional 25-30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until onions are browned and caramelized.  (SOOO worth the time...)



Mine still had another 10 minutes to go at this point.  Kind of a pain, but again...mmmmmm.

3. Remove 1/2 cup of the caramelized onions, to be used to top soup, and set aside.  Add broth to the pot and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to medium-low.  Let simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

4. Remove pot from heat.  Stir in creamer and let cool for several minutes.

5. Working in batches, puree onion mixture in a blender until smooth, 1-2 minutes per batch.


'kay...I guess this is my second complaint.  I hate using the blender.  Especially when hot liquids are involved.  But this is the step that transforms your soup from an onion-y broth to a creamy, bisque-y heaven.  It gets yummy and creamy and looks almost gravy-like.  109 calories???  I'm still not believing it.

Anyway...that's it!!!  Your soup is now done.  Top with the reserved caramelized onions, scallions, a crouton or 2 (or 3) and some extra cayenne pepper.  Yum.
Rob topped his with croutons and cheese and broiled it till melty and brown.  Damn, his looked good.  But so did mine.  No cheese needed.



Enjoy!!!  (And if you make it...invite me over.  I want another bowl.  Thanks.)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Peanut Butter Cookies

Yesterday morning my oldest daughter declared that she was looking for a good lawyer and was going to divorce me. Initially I found the whole thing hysterical, but as the day wore on it became less funny.  Our family has been through a series of traumas and I thought perhaps this was at the root of her divorce decree.  I decided a TV Mom moment was in order.  A clean house, chicken and dumplings simmering on the stove and homemade peanut butter cookies in the oven...very TV mom-ish.  By the time she got off the bus I thought the house smelled amazing.  It looked pretty sparkly, too. My job as a TV Mom was done.  She was sure to apologize and un-divorce me now, right???

Wrong.  A teenager is a teenager.  At precisely 3:15, She Who Must Not Be Named walked through the door, threw her bookbag on the floor and said, "Ewwww.  What's that smell???" 
Mental scream.  Next time I'm just gonna ground her.  The cookies were yummy, though, so I thought I'd share.  I found the recipe in the Flat Belly Diet Family Cookbook on page 259. 









Don't those look yummy???  Yup.  I thought so, too.  They're made with all natural peanut butter and have absolutely ZERO flour in them.  Not one pinch.  Sold.  Not only is refined white flour bad for you, it's also a pain in the ass to measure and mix in.  I don't know about you, but when I use flour, my entire kitchen becomes a mess.  Flour all over the floor, flour all over the counters and flour all over me.  It's disastrous.  Yay for no flour.  I set my oven to 350 and got down to business.

Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup natural peanut butter
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Combine the peanut butter, brown sugar, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.  Add the egg and vanilla extract and beat until smooth.
3. Shape the dough into 24 balls and arrange on 2 cookie sheets.  Gently press a crisscross pattern into the top of each cookie with the tines of a fork.
4. Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until lightly browned on the bottom.

Serving size: 3 cookies.
Calories: 315.
Serve them with a glass of milk...that will add 80 calories but makes the entire cookie eating experience complete.


Yum, yum, YUM!!!!
My cookies looked NOTHING like the cookies in the cookbook (I think they were a little over-done.  Maybe decrease the cooking time to 8 minutes...) but they sure did taste good.  The recipe made 24 cookies.  This morning there were only 4 left.  She Who Must Not Be Named even had one for breakfast.  Maybe she'll stick around after all.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Leggo My Eggo

LEGGO MY EGGO!!!
That's all I can say.  Leggo my Eggo and...mmmmmmmmmmm.  Mmmm mmm mmm mmmm mmmm.
A couple of months ago I picked up the "Flat Belly Diet Pocket Guide."



Buy it.  Of all my books this is, by far, my favorite.  The recipes are delicious, ridiculously easy AND...they target belly fat.  Does it get any better than that?  It was written by the editor-in-chief of Prevention magazine so I believe it to be credible.  The theory behind the flat belly diet is that monounsaturated fats target belly fat.  Monounsaturated fats (MUFA's) are healthy oils that are found in many plant foods.  In the exact words of Liz Vaccariello, "They fill you up fast and keep you full longer."  Eat a MUFA at every meal and soon your tummy will be tinier.  Pretty damn easy.  And yummy.

There are 5 categories of MUFA's:

1. Oils
2. Nuts and seeds
3. Avocados
4. Olives
5. Dark Chocolate

Isn't that list amazing????  Avocados??  As in...guacamole????  See??  Told you this book is awesome.  You just have to watch the MUFA serving size.  MUFA's are calorie dense so a little goes a long way.  If your chosen MUFA is oil, the serving is 1TBS.  Nuts and seeds...2 TBS.  Avocados...1/4 cup.  Olives...2 TBS.  And chocolate???  I can't eat chocolate.  It gives me a migraine.  That super sucks.  But the serving size for dark chocolate is 1/4 cup.  That's 4 TBS.  Back in my chocolate-doesn't-give-me-a-migraine days, I woulda been THRILLED with 4 TBS of chocolate.  4TBS of chocolate chips on top of a waffle??  Oh my yum!!  Chocolate in my oatmeal??  Chocolate on strawberries??  Chocolate chips right outta the bag??  Sigh.  I hate migraines.

BUT!!!  I can eat all of the other MUFA's and they are delicious.  This morning I chose pecans as my MUFA.  Toasted pecans and strawberries over whole grain waffles with a little agave nectar drizzled on top...mmmmm.  This afternoon I chose avocados and had a guacamole sammy.  Yum.  Not sure what dinner's gonna be, but Liz Vaccariello has that covered, too.  She put out the Flat Belly Diet Family Cookbook and I'm pretty sure the fam would like just about everything in it.  (Except the fish recipes.  I still haven't figured out how to get my kids to eat fish...)


...'kay.  I'm done blabbing.  The Pitt game is on.  Gotta go!

Woops!  Forgot to include the 4 Flat Belly Diet rules:
Rule #1: Stick to 400 calories per meal.
Rule #2: Never go more than 4 hours without eating.
Rule #3: Eat 4 times per day.
Rule #4: Eat a MUFA at every meal.

Easy.  LOVE this book!!!!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Pumpkin Mousse...A Retraction

I know I shared with you that I am an obsessive compulsive calorie counter who is flirting with anorexia, but what I didn't share is that I am also a label reader.  Obsessively.  Have been since the whole "don't eat fat" craze of the '80's.  I also like to eat whole foods.  SuperFoods. Food that comes from the ground and food with a face.  (Sorry to all vegetarians...but foods with a face are yummy.  Especially pigs.  My bad.)  My theory behind "natural eating" is that if I EAT perfect foods then my life will be perfect.  Messed up, right?!?!?!?!?!  I TOLD you I have issues.  I don't eat healthy for health's sake.  I'm learning, and I'm working TOWARDS THAT, but I'm not there yet.  Anyway...that's why I HAVE to print a retraction.  I read the labels from yesterday's Pumpkin Mousse recipe.  The only thing natural and whole in yesterday's pumpkin mousse recipe is the pumpkin.  Oh.  And the milk.  Milk is good.


Cool Whip Free.  Sorry Kraft, but that's some nasty sh*t.
Ingredients: Water, Corn Syrup, Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, High Fructose Corn Syrup and then a bunch of other crap that starts with the word "poly."
OMG!!!


Jell-O Sugar Free-Fat Free Instant vanilla Pudding...ewwwwww.  I was a biology/premed geek in college, so I know how to pronounce these words, ( I so hated Organic Chem, btw...) but EAT THEM?!?!  Nuh-uh.
Ingredients: Modified corn starch, Maltodextrin, Tetrasodium Pyrophosphate, Calcium Sulfate, Xanthum Gum, Mono and Diglycerides, Aspertame, Acesulfame Potassium, Tetrapotassiumpyrophosphate,  Dipotassiumphosphate, Yellow 5 and Yellow 6.

That's just disgusting.  (Or in little Genny's words, "gidusting".) Seriously.
Angie's Pumpkin Mousse recipe???

pumpkin
heavy cream
sugar
vanilla
pumpkin pie spice.

That's it.  Five, wholesome, all-natural ingredients.  YES, it is jacked up (Angie's word...love it)  with calories and fat, but it's NATURAL.  And probably yummier.  LOTS yummier.

If you REALLY want a healthy pumpkin recipe, try Dr. Steven Pratt's pumpkin pudding.
Dr. Pratt is the author of "SuperFoods...Fourteen Foods That Will Change Your Life."
I gotta tell you, when my life was spinning outta control, this book became my bible.  Foods that can CHANGE MY LIFE????  Sign me up!!  Change my life, Dr. Pratt!!  I poured through this book, took notes and memorized ridiculous facts.  I tortured my poor family with nutrition nuggets and drove everyone around me insane.  But I loved this book.  Still do.

LOL!!!  I scanned the book into my computer...look how banged up the poor thing is.  It's taken a beating, that's for sure.  The spine is broken, the pages are all dog-eared and it's highlighted to death.  But it's mine all mine and I love it.  It got me through some dark days.
I also love Dr. Pratt's Pumpkin Pudding.  Try it.  It tastes like pumpkin pie but without the guilt.  Not only without the guilt but with all the powerful goodness of carotenoids.  Did you know carotenoids can decrease you risk of developing lung, colon, bladder, cervical, breast and skin cancer?!?!  Neither did I.  That's some pretty powerful pumpkin.  Eat your pumpkin.  But mix it with GOOD stuff.  Not cool-whip and  fake, instant pudding.  Blech.  Chemical blech-ness.  How gross.

Dr. Pratt's Pumpkin Pudding
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground cloves or all-spice
2 large eggs
One 15 oz can Libby's 100% pure pumpkin
One 12oz can nonfat evaporated milk

1. Mix sugar, cinnamon, salt, ginger and cloves in a small bowl.
2. Beat the eggs in a large bowl.
3. Stir in the pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture.  Gradually stir in the evaporated milk.
4. Pour into a shallow, ovenproof dish and bake at 350 for about 40 minutes.  Don't overbake; the center should be slightly wiggly.
5. Cool and enjoy at room temperature or refrigerate.

I PROMISE you, this is good.  I've made it dozens of times and I love it.
If you cut it into 9 servings it has 107 calories and 1 gram of fat.  NOT BAD.  And I'm telling you...REALLY yummy.

Now...what shall I do with all of my chemical mousse????  We're having dinner with friends tonight...Lisa???  Do you mind a little chemicals in your mousse???

'Kay.  I'm done blabbing.  (Blogging.)
Sorta...one more blab.  (Blog.)  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLICKING ON THE LITTLE AD THINGY YESTERDAY!!!!!  Do you know I made $7 yesterday?!?!  SEVEN DOLLARS!!!  I've been a mommy for almost 14 years.  Through Rob's hard work (and God's grace) I have been able to stay home with my children all of these years.  But God knows we've struggled.  We've robbed Peter to pay Paul more times than is probably legal....but we've made it through.  I have always felt tremendous guilt about not contributing finacially to our family. Now all of a sudden I made $7????  From a BLOG?!?!  THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!  Your clicks are appreciated more than you'll ever know...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Pumpkin Mousse--Holy Bad Word, That's Good.

Pumpkin mousse.  My family won't even try it.  But do you know what I say to THAT?!?! 
MORE FOR ME!!!
Ha ha and na na.  It's so good and it's all for me.  Actually, me and Genny.  Her likes it.  Her's nice. And she helped me make it.  I love my Genny girl.
That's my Genny...giving the ingredients bunny ears.   Genny...looking like an orphan, sitting on the counter, and giving food bunny ears.  Oh.  And she's barefoot.  My barefooted Genny girl.   It doesn't get much more "Genny" than that.  That's her in a nutshell.  We do everything together.  Sorta like a "My Buddy" doll...but a girl.  And, well...human.  "My buddy.  My buddy.  Wherever I go...SHEEEEE goes."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX9RSyotle8 

I actually found the original "My Buddy" commercial on YouTube.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you are probably not in your 30's.  If you ARE in your 30's then I apologize for getting the song stuck in your head.  I've been singing it all afternoon...

ANYWAY...so back to the mousse.  My girlfriend Angie (HI ANGIE!!!!!) posted a pic of pumpkin mousse on Facebook and I knew I had to have the recipe.  GAWD it looked good.  So Angie posted the recipe for me...and that's when I got all hive-y and nervous-y.  I'm SERIOUSLY working on the whole "must not obsessively count calories" thing, but Angie's yummy yummy recipe had heavy cream in it.  The total cals for the entire recipe (not sure how many servings it makes...) is 1,541 with 88 grams of fat.  Knowing I was the only one who would probably eat this yummy delight sorta scared me.  1,541 calories?  Can't do it.  I wish I could.  A normal person COULD do it.  But I can't.  So I went on a quest to find a low cal/low fat recipe.

FOUND IT!  It's by Weight Watchers.  I have NO idea what the Weight Watchers points mean, but an entire cup of the recipe is only 1 point.  1 point sounds pretty good.  (I think...)
And I actually had all of the ingredients on hand!!  Hello, pumpkin mousse.  I've been waiting for you.

Weight Watchers Pumpkin Mousse

2 small Jell-o instant sugar free vanilla pudding mixes
2 cups skim milk
1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
15 oz can Libby's 100% Pure Pumpkin
8 oz fat free cool whip

1. Make pudding first with the 2 cups of skim milk.
2. Fold in the rest of the ingredients.
3. Serve!

The entire recipe (which would seriously serve about 8) is 615 calories.   That's about 76 calories per serving and 0 grams of fat.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.  And no one likes it or will even try it but me and Genny.  YAAAAY!!!  Genny girl, we've got some eatin' to do.  Go grab a spoon!


Now THAT'S Funny

Yesterday I "monetized" my blog.  (Whatever the hell that means.)  To the best of my understanding, it means that, based on my blog's content, Google will now place similar ads in the sidebar of my blog.  I guess I get a paycheck in the mail if people click on the ad.  (??)
Anyway...here's the funny part...apparently certain ads are worth more than others.  For example, a Manolo Blahnik shoe ad would net WAY more per click than a Payless Shoes shoe ad.  (I think.)  But I don't blog  about shoes.  I blog about food.  And hive inducing coupon clipping.  The ad in MY sidebar???  An ad for Groupon.  GROUPON???????  I get hives from coupons and GROUPON popped up???  That's funny.
The funnier part??  My husband said, "Hurry up!  Blog about a Rolls Royce."
Hahahahahahahahahahaaa!!!!!!
There ya go, honey.  Let's see what ads pop up now.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Whole Wheat Penne With Chicken and Veggies

Wow.  In the words of  Bill Engvall...Here's your sign.
Do you know where I found the recipe for last night's dinner??  On page 218 of "The Family Guide To Fighting Fat...A Parents Guide to Handling Obesity and Eating Issues."
Uh...MY CHILDREN AREN'T OBESE AND THEY DON'T HAVE EATING ISSUES!!!!!  Why is this book in my house?????  Why do I have 70 other books just like it???  I guess maybe I really DO have some issues to work on.
Sorry kids.
But the recipe was yummy!!!  Maybe that will redeem me.  She Who Must Not Be Named even had seconds!!  And the boys cleared their plates!!  And Megan, who HATES broccoli, ate every bite.  So maybe being a neurotic obsessive compulsive anorexic isn't ALL bad.  Sometimes the food actually tastes good.

So I will share the recipe with you.  Please try to forget that it came from THIS book, though.  I wonder what the hell my poor kiddos think when they see this book laying around??? 
Dear Zaremski kids,
You're not fat.
Love,
Mommy

Good grief.  I'm such a yutz.

Anyway...the recipe.

Whole Wheat Penne With Chicken And Veggies

1 box whole wheat penne pasta
2 TBS olive oil
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (cut in 1" cubes)
1-2 carrots sliced diagonally (1/4 inch pieces)
1 (10 oz) bag frozen broccoli florets, thawed
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp dried basil
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

1. Cook pasta according to package directions.
2. Heat 1 TBS olive oil in a skillet over medium heat.  Add chicken.  Cook, stirring until chicken is cooked through, about 5 minutes.  Remove from skillet and drain on paper towels.
3. Heat the remaining oil in same skillet.   Add carrots and cook, stirring, for 4 minutes.
4. Add broccoli and garlic to skillet.  Cook, stirring, for 2 minutes longer.
5. Add chicken broth, basil, and Parmesan to skillet.  Stir to combine.
6. Return chicken to skillet.  Reduce heat and simmer for 4 minutes.
7. Spoon chicken mixture over cooked pasta.

Serving size: 1 1/2 cups; serves 6
Calories: 233
Fat: 5 grams

It didn't photo very well, but it really did taste good. 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Bit Of Honesty

I started group therapy yesterday.  I have been through several traumas (who hasn't?) and I am still standing, but not without my vices.  My main vice, I am coming to learn and accept, is anorexia.  I am NOT painfully thin as you see in the news and in magazines, but do I exhibit MANY of the psychological, behavioral and physical symptoms of the disease.  Yesterday my counselor suggested that perhaps my blog is a way of not only controlling what I eat, but also of controlling what OTHERS eat.  In particular, my children.  That pains me.  Terribly.  So.  I apologize to you.  This blog is by NO MEANS meant to control YOUR food choices.  Or those of my family.  I stand in judgment of no one.  I am learning to not stand in judgment of myself...
 I apologize to you and I will apologize to my family tonight.  My quest to convert my family to healthy eating did not come from a healthy place.  (Ironic.)  Will I still cook them something easy, yummy, healthy and cheap??  Hell yes.  That's my job as a mommy.  Will I still blog (dumb word) about it?  Hell yes.  I have been getting so much enjoyment out of this!!!  But I wanted to be honest.  Eating healthy should be for health's sake...NOT to fit into a smaller dress, or to appear "perfect."  There is no perfect.  There is no "normal."  And that's OKAY.
I'm learning...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Monster Eyeballs

The entire Z Gang was invited to a Halloween/Fall Festival on Saturday night...that's a LOT of Zaremski monsters in one house.  So I DEFINITELY needed to bring a treat or two along with us.  The kiddos talked me into Halloween Jello Jigglers and  my husband made ummy yummy buffalo chicken dip. (Ooooh.  Funny story...apparently one night my friend, Robin had a HUGE margarita and referred to the buffalo chicken dip as chuckalo biffen dip.  I thought that was hysterical.  I've been calling it that ever since.  Sorry Robin. But chuckalo biffen dip?????  How can I NOT call it that????  Not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you...THAT'S funny.)
Anyway...I still wanted to bring one more yummy along with us.  Sharon Geyer, a Tastefully Simple rep and friend extrodinaire, posted a recipe on facebook and I HAD to try it.  The dang thing was just too adorable, easy, yummy and cheap.  I didn't say healthy, cuz it's not, but I figured out a way to MAKE it healthy (ish)...use fat-free cream cheese!!!  I didn't have any, so I fed all of the Fall Festival guests pure fat.  (sorry...) But NEXT year????  Fat-free cream cheese and guilt-free eyeballs.  I promise.

So.  The recipe.

Monster Eyeballs

8oz. softened cream cheese
1-2 TBS Tastefully Simple Garlic Garlic Seasoning Blend
8 pimento stuffed Spanish olives
red food dye

1. Mix the cream cheese and Garlic Garlic seasoning blend.  Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours or until firm.
2. Cut the cream cheese mixture into 16 equal sections and roll into balls.
3. Cut the olives in half and place in the center of each ball.
4. Draw bloodshot red lines on eyeballs using a toothpick and red food dye.
5. Serve on a cracker and gobble up!!

They looked disgusting...PERFECT!!!!!

I THINK they were liked.  (??)
I liked them.  A little too garlic-y, maybe. (??)  In my world there is no such thing.  But I think I heard the hubs say, "WOW, that's a lotta garlic."  Maybe use 1 TBS of the garlic garlic...

Monster eyeballs with fat-free cream cheese: 14 calories and NO FAT!!!  Of course the cracker will add some fat (and calories) but eating the eyeball without the cracker would just be gross.  Eat the cracker.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Taco Bell


Taco Bell detritus.
That doesn't look yummy at ALL.  And it wasn't healthy and it certainly wasn't cheap.
Grumble mumble.  It wasn't easy, either.  Two of the kids spilled their drinks ALL OVER themselves so we had to go home and change.
OH!!  AND they got my order wrong.

The kids comments?

She Who Must Not Be Named: Thanks, mom.  This is really good.
Megan: This is my favorite thing you made all week.
Isaac: Now THIS is dinner!!
Noah: Hey mom.  Can you make this every night?  Hehehe.
Genny: I didn't got a soft taco.  I did got a burrito.  I seriously DID got a burrito.  I don't like beans.

Mental Scream.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Slow Cookin' BBQ Chicken

I tried to stick with the $5 mom.  I REALLY did.  But my family wasn't buying it.  5 kid thumbs down.  I can't really blame them.  Personally, I LOVED the sweet-n-sour chicken, but...red peppers?  I HATED red peppers when I was a kid.  What was I thinking??  So last night I was out to impress and totally cook my way back into their hearts.  Kid cuisine.  But it still had to be healthy (ish).
Lisa Lillien??  I love you.  HUNGRY GIRL???  That's MEEEEEEEE.  I'm HUNGRY. And a girl.  Teach me, Lisa.  Teach me.

On page 174, I found a recipe that spoke to my hungry girl soul.  Slow-cookin' bbq chicken.
OMG, it's SO easy.  Seriously.  And you use a crock pot!!  I LOVE my crock pot.  It cooks for me all day long while I run around doing errands.   At the end of the day the house smells great, and I look like a hero. 
Isn't he gorgeous?  My slow cooker is a boy.  His name is Hamilton.  Hamilton makes all things yummy.  It doesn't matter what I throw into him.  By day's end, Chef Hamilton makes even the nastiest cut of beef tender and fall apart yummy.  That's a gift.  He's truly gifted.

Anyway...so, last night's recipe...

Slow Cookin' BBQ Chicken
1 cup canned tomato sauce
1/2 cup ketchup
2 TBS plus 2 tsp brown sugar (not packed)
2 TBS plus 2 tsp cider vinegar
2 tsp garlic powder
1 1/2 pounds chicken breasts or tenders  (I THREW MINE IN THE POT FROZEN!!)
Optional: crushed red pepper

1.  Place all ingredients except chicken in the crock pot.  Stir until mixed.  Add chicken and coat well with the sauce.
2.  Cover and cook on high for 3-4 hours or on low for 7-8 hours, until chicken is fully cooked.
3. Remove all the chicken and place it in a bowl.  Shred each piece using 2 forks.  Return the shredded chicken to the crock pot, and mix well with the sauce.
4. Serve on buns (I ate mine on a 100 calorie Flatout multi-grain flatbread)
5. Enjoy!!!!!

Hamilton??  You rock.  Damn this was good.  And only 149 calories per 1/2 cup serving.  OH!!  And 1 gram of fat and 10 grams of carbs!!  That's LITE!!!  What a smart woman Lisa Lillien is.  Genius, really.

But my kids???  They didn't like it!!!  I was so mad I actually cried.  Not in front of them.  And I didn't just cry about the dinner.  All in all it was just a really bad day yesterday...but still.  What's not to like about pulled bbq chicken sandwiches?!?!  That's dumb.  Isaac said it would've been better with pulled pork.  Mommy says pthhhllllll. 
Blowin' raspberries at ALL of my kids tonight.
Waving the white flag and taking them to Taco Bell for dinner.  Whatever.

Try the chicken.  It really was VERY good.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sweet-N-Sour Chicken

So I vowed to cook from "The $5 Dinner Mom Cookbook" all week.  Um...not sure I can live up to that promise.  Personally I LOVED tonight's dinner. (after a little tweaking)   But the family??  They weren't buying it.
Sweet and sour chicken.  Doesn't that sound yummy?  The kiddos had a different opinion.

Isaac:  Mom?  What's cooking???
Me:  Sweet and Sour Chicken.
Me:  HEY!!!  Did you just say "BLECH"?!?!?!?!?!
Isaac:  No, I said "NASTY!!!"
Megan:  Ewwwww.  What IS that??
Me:  Sweet and Sour Chicken
Meg:  ...doesn't look like the sweet and sour chicken I had at the restaurant.
Meg:  Can we add some ranch?
Genny:  Where's the ranch??  I need the ranch.

All of this was said even before I put it on the plates!!!   I thought it looked BEAUTIFUL!!  I was wowed by the smells and thought the colors were GORGEOUS.  I even took pictures!

Doesn't that look pretty??  I thought it did...
But then I put it on their plates and I realized...uh-oh.  I might be in trouble here. 



I noticed an AWFUL lotta red pepper, and that's NEVER a good thing when kids are involved.
But I set the table, asked the kids to say a prayer, and we dug in. ( My prayer??  Dear God, Please let the kids like and eat their supper.  Amen.)

Some prayers are not meant to be answered.

Noah: (as he showed me his plate)  Hey mom!!  What's different about my plate??  I took out all of the peppers!!
Isaac: (as he picked out all of the peppers, onions, and pineapples)  Ew.  Ew.  Ew. 
She Who Must Not Be Named:  Isaac, don't say "Ew.  Ew.  Ew.  Now everyone with a computer will know that you said, '"Ew.  Ew.  Ew.'" cuz she's gonna write about it in her stupid blog."
Genny:  I remember when I ate my WHOLE soup and I'm gonna eat this all gone TOO!
Meg:  I'd rather eat an egg.
Noah: How do you think I feel eating this???
Isaac:  My rice tastes sandy.
Me:  It's whole grain brown rice.
Megan:  ...tastes like oatmeal.

Yup.  Not a big hit.
But I'll stand by the recipe.  The recipe sounded yummy.  And, truthfully, the dish was yummy.  Just too un-kid-friendly for a family with kids.

MY rating??  4 outta 4. 
Easy, yummy, healthy and cheap. 
Sweet and Sour Chicken was all 4.  Easy, yummy, healthy and cheap.
I'd make it again, but that would be a LOT of wasted food.

(Genny's plate...'member she said she was gonna eat it all gone?  She didn't.)


LOL!!!  See the ranch??
That's gross.

I'm including the recipe anyway.  I thought it was good.  Sticking my tongue out at my kids.

P.S.

I love you, Bob.  I really do. 

She Who Must Not Be Named

My BEAUTIFUL, sweet, loving teenager is asserting her independence and demanding her privacy. (Again.)  Last week she made me sign and date a contract stating that I will not use her name or picture in ANY posting on Facebook.
This week her attack is based solely on food and THIS BLOG.



 Oh...whatever.
Party pooper.
Blog hater.

But I vow to respect her wishes and honor thy contract.
So...henceforth, my beautiful daughter Caylin will be referred to as "She Who Must Not Be Named."
Or Bob.  Bob got quite a few votes as her Facebook pseudonym.  Maybe I'll go with Bob.

Bob...you spelled "ever" wrong.  I'm thinking this might null and void your contract.  Hmmmm.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Coupons and Coupon Binders...A Recipe For A Migraine

Colleen's recipe for a migraine:

5 children  (free???)
1 shopping cart (free, but gross)
1 zip-up binder  ($9.99)
1 packet 9-pocket pages (say THAT 5 times fast...$4.99)
1 professional index system for 3 ring binders  ($4.99)
1 box Cookie Crisp Cereal  (or any impulse buy/bribe you can think of to hush your children...$2.50)
1 box halloween shapes Kraft mac-n-cheese  (sometimes TWO bribes are required...$.90)
59 coupons  (I totally counted...Type A is a disease.  Cost?  FREE, if you consider the time it took you to clip 59 coupons is  "free time.")

Directions:
Mix all of the ingredients and...BAM!  Instant migraine.
Total cost: (thank God for the calculator button on my computer...)  $23.37

$23.37.  That's Twenty-three dollars and thirty seven cents... round up and that's $25.  Twenty five dollars spent so that (hopefully) I can cut $45 per month off of our grocery bill so that (hopefully) I can join a heath club.  (Cost of health club: $45 per month.)

OMG, my head hurts.  Truly.  I have a full-blown...turn off the lights, stop talking, and get me a bowl cuz I'm gonna puke-migraine.
All from coupons.

Okay...QUESTION, Erin Chase:  What category does spaghetti sauce in a glass jar fit into??
What category would you classify Pull-Ups as??  Toiletries???  Paper Products???
My head is spinning, but it's done.  My coupon binder is done.
At the end of the day I'm thinking...making a coupon binder while your husband is away and all 5 kids are home for Columbus Day vacation is...DUMB.  Really dumb.  Migraine inducing.  But it's done.

Let the savings begin.  (???????)